Top Ten Ways To Tell That Someone Is From Seattle
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 1 Apr 99 13:26:08 -0800
Subject: Top Ten Ways To Tell That Someone Is From Seattle
TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL THAT SOMEONE IS FROM SEATTLE
Number 10: Knows something about computers but makes excuses for Microsoft
products anyway, and knows at least three Microsoft burnouts, two of whom
Number 9: Uses more than 5 words [a unique vocabulary] to order a cup of
coffee. "I want to order an unleaded, double, short, skinny, wet cappuccino
with a shot of Amaretto please."
Number 8: 'Designer' wardrobe comes from REI, Eddie Bauer, Lands End, and
Number 7: Considers it a sunny day if the sun is visible at some point of
the day. On Average, Seattle has fewer than 3 SUNNY days in February.
[But February's a short month, after all... -psl]
Number 6: Feels guilty throwing an aluminum can in the trash, instead of
a recycle bin.
[And is surprised that something this obvious would appear on a list like
Number 5: Stands on a deserted street corner in the rain, waiting for the
light to say walk. Did you know that Seattle police issue over 2500
citations a year to pedestrians jaywalking in downtown Seattle? Well,
Seattleites can follow the "Don't Walk" lights to extremes. Once, while I
was crossing the street, the "Walk" light started flashing "Don't Walk" just
as I reached the middle of the intersection. Would you believe, the
pedestrian right beside me turned around, and walked back to the corner we
Number 4: Have been "snow" skiing in the RAIN more than in the snow.
Number 3: When discussing rainforests and volcanoes, NOT talking about
Number 2: Groans when Seattle gets listed as one of the best places to
live. At all costs, Seattleites do NOT want to encourage ANY MORE people
to move to Seattle.
Number 1: Takes an umbrella wherever they go!
[BZZZZZZT! Wrong. That's the tourist answer. It should say: "Never takes
an umbrella anywhere." What for? -psl]
© 1999 Peter Langston