Fun_People Archive
2 Apr
The Comedian's-eye View of 04/02/99

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri,  2 Apr 99 13:21:03 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 04/02/99

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 04/02/99 -- ShopTalk

                         Friday April 2, 1999

   "In Moscow, angry protesters impulsively pelted the U.S. Embassy with
    eggs, and then sadly headed home for a breakfast of rocks over easy."

                                       -- Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

The NATO attacks on Yugoslavia continue. "If they don't get things
straightened out in the Balkans pretty soon, President Clinton may have to
do something he has done before; he may have to actually use a sex scandal
now to cover up the war." (David Letterman)
[I'm glad someone noticed what really happened with Monica.  -psl]

The Washington Post is reporting that Kenneth Starr's Whitewater
investigation cost nearly $80 million.  Starr, stung by critics of the sum,
angrily responded, "Hey, you try to run an International Right-wing
Conspiracy on less." (Chris Bannon)

There's a new technology that allows advertisers to have their products
digitally added to network television shows.  Next, engineers will
experiment with adding character, content and wit.  (Bannon)

So far computer virus Melissa has crippled over 300 government e-mail
systems. And sadly enough, none was the DMV or the IRS. (Bill Williams)

This is Good Friday.  Biblical scholars teach why Pontius Pilate was given
the duty of crucifying Jesus.  He was appointed by the Roman emperor to be
a special prosecutor. (Alan Ray)

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