The Comedian's-eye View of 4/12/99
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 11 Apr 99 19:08:30 -0700
Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 4/12/99
Monday April 12, 1999
"We will not accept a phony peace. Bad enough we got a phony marriage,
we gotta draw the line somewhere."
- Jay Leno, on Clinton's rejection
of a cease-fire proposal
Experts in Baltimore say they've isolated a gene that can grow bone and
cartilage. "GOP presidential candidate Lamar Alexander has hired them to
see if they can find a gene that manufactures charisma." (Bob Mills)
Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra are getting divorced. "What? No! If those
two devoted, well-adjusted kids can't make it, what chance do the rest of
us have?" (Alex Kaseberg)
Bob Dylan and Paul Simon said they'll be touring together this summer.
"Actually, Paul said they're touring. We're not exactly sure what Bob said."
A red-tailed hawk grabbed a duck off the White House lawn and totally
consumed it. The Republican's immediately hired it as an independent
council. (Bill Williams)
© 1999 Peter Langston