Fun_People Archive
13 Apr
UVSPAOTD - (Ugly, Vicious, Scurrilous Political Attacks O' The Day),

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 13 Apr 99 12:25:39 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: UVSPAOTD - (Ugly, Vicious, Scurrilous Political Attacks O' The Day),

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <>
Forwarded-by: Keith Sullivan <>


"GOP leaders have returned from that bash in Palm Beach for donors of
$175,000," says Argus Hamilton.  "Last Year, Congress promised to do
something about special-interest contributions.  What they have decided to
do is deposit them."

ShopTalk, Wednesday, March 5, 1997 <>

PHOENIX, AZ (DWPI) -- Now that Barry Goldwater has been diagnosed with
Alzheimer's Disease, as was Ronald Reagan, Republican leaders who've long
claimed that AIDS is a "gay" disease are having trouble accepting this as
evidence that Alzheimer's is a "Republican" disease.  Republican senator
Jesse Helms responded, "Are you kiddin' me?  This disease can strike anyone.
It's not like these poor victims were engaging in immoral behavior --
they're Republicans, for God's sake!"

Reported by Jerry Wolfe
The Daily Weekly, September 26, 1997 <>

Cutler Daily Scoop, on Republicans demanding to know how the White House
personnel could initially miss finding the torn-up suicide note of Clinton
aide Vince Foster:  "Easy.  This White House doesn't have nearly as much
expertise with shredding documents as say, the Reagan Administration."

If you were to travel from state to state, you would notice all the
Republican ads, regardless of candidate, sounded the same.  We have one
political consultant, Arthur J. Finkelstein, to thank for this uniformity.
Mr. Finkelstein has been overseeing Republican campaign tactics and taking
them beyond Newt.  Gone are any contracts, specifics or detailed plans for
the future, because "voters barely pay attention to politics."  These have
been replaced by the injunction to "stick to one or two basic themes and
repeat them constantly, like a mantra..." Mr. Finkelstein gives candidates
a choice of themes.  They can label their opponent a (A) liberal, (B)
ultraliberal, (C) foolish liberal or (D) liberal too long.  Teachers will
immediately recognize the educational principles being invoked.  Endless
repetition of one theme is how those with serious learning disabilities are
taught.  Win or lose, Mr. Finklestein will make close to $1 million this
year for bringing Special Education to the American public.  (NYT 10/27/96)

American Newspeak <>

The Times asserts that American officials in 1996 reported some of this
espionage to the Clinton Administration's deputy national security adviser,
the political fixer Samuel (Sandy) Berger, now head of the National Security
Council. Mr. Berger did nothing, for he was otherwise occupied. A year later
more American intelligence officials notified Administration officials that
security at Los Alamos was lax. Still nothing was done. Then in 1997 Senator
Fred Thompson's committee found evidence of Chinese espionage, but the
administration cleverly mired Senator Thompson in classification
restrictions preventing him from telling America all that the committee had
discovered. Now despite the revelations about China's purchase and thievery
of strategic secrets the Administration is muzzling a bipartisan House
select committee the same way it muzzled Senator Thompson.


After House Republicans had to chastise the Dems for a "breakdown of
etiquette" in attacking Newt, it was good to see Interior Secretary Bruce
Babbit modeling the new manners.  A "contrite" Babbit told a House Committee
that he wanted to cooperate "as the sun rises on an entirely new era" (a
nice literary touch).  "I understand the realities", he proclaimed, as he
apologized for failing to allow the resumption of logging on public lands
"fast enough."  He then promised to do no more than the law requires in
protecting endangered species on private land.  I'm not going to make any
snide comments about Babbit sounding like a French collaborator in WWII.
But as a public service, here is a list of synonyms from Webster's for the
word "grovel":  "abase oneself, bootlick, cower, crawl, creep, cringe,
demean oneself, fawn, flatter, kowtow, toady."  I personally like "toady."
(NYT 1/19/95)

American Newspeak <>

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