Fun_People Archive
29 Aug
The Comedian's-eye View of 08/30/99

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 29 Aug 99 12:43:39 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 08/30/99

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 08/30/99 -- ShopTalk

                         Monday August 30, 1999

    "We would rather lose a thousand soldiers than an inch of land."

             The 'Liberation Army Daily,' China's military
             newspaper, on the brewing China-Taiwan conflict


Bill Clinton announced he's setting aside $1 billion in taxpayers' money to
buy up land for the US Park Service.  "Oh, great.  Now we're all partners
with Clinton in a land deal." (Jay Leno)

According to a new survey, 33% of American women sleep on their right side,
26% sleep on their left side, 18% sleep on their backs, and 13% sleep on
their stomachs.  And today, President Clinton said, "That's not correct.
It's 38%, 22%, 24% and 15%.." (Steve Voldseth)

A tidal wave of Republicans, now, coming forward now, saying they've used
drugs.  Both Rhode Island Senate candidate, Lincoln Chafee and New Mexico
Governor Gary Johnson have come forward to say they've experimented with
cocaine, and today, Dan Quayle admitted he once experimented with the
spelling of cocaine. (Voldseth)

Researchers in California say they have moved a step closer to perfecting
a vaccine for the addictive properties of cocaine. And if they are
successful with this, they plan to next attack man's number one addiction:
Starbucks. (Bill Williams)

prev [=] prev © 1999 Peter Langston []