Fun_People Archive
31 Aug
The Comedian's-eye View of 08/31/99

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 31 Aug 99 11:26:53 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 08/31/99

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 08/31/99 -- ShopTalk

                          Tuesday August 31, 1999

	"Warren Beatty is running for President.
	 Ken Starr heard the news and started to unpack."
					- David Letterman


Amid rumors that George W. Bush used cocaine in his youth, President Clinton
said he had never done cocaine.  "Actually what he said was, 'I did not have
nasal relations with that drug.'" (Jay Leno)

George W. Bush has established a huge lead in California polls in his run
for the GOP presidential nomination.  Do you think it's because his campaign
promise is a "chicken in every pot, and a line on every mirror?" (Bill

Hurricane watchers are keeping an eye on a series of storms.  "It's the
Weather Channel's equivalent of sweeps week." (Daily Scoop)

"America Online has been denied a trademark for the phrase 'You've got
mail'...They have, though, been given the rights to 'the line is busy,
please try again'." (Zack Taylor - Westwood One Radio Network)

Aboriginal leaders in Australia on Sunday demanded the government to follow
up its expression of regret for its past treatment of Australia's indigenous
people with cash compensation.  The government has dispatched Regis Philbin
to ask them a series of increasingly difficult questions. (Jim Rosenberg)

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