Fun_People Archive
15 Oct
NTK bits, 1999-10-15

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 99 12:38:35 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: NTK bits, 1999-10-15

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: NTK now, 1999-10-15

 _   _ _____ _  __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the uk>
| \ | |_   _| |/ / _ __   __1999-10-15_ o join! mail an empty message to
|  \| | | | | ' / | '_ \ / _ \ \ /\ / / o
| |\  | | | | . \ | | | | (_) \ v  v /  o website (+ archive) lives at:
|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\|_| |_|\___/ \_/\_/   o

         "This year we updated the PowerBook in May, the iBook in
          July, the G4 replacing the G3 in August at Seybold, and
          now the iMacs in October. I added up the time: in 148 days,
          we've completely changed every product."
                                                  - STEVE JOBS, TIME Magazine
       ...often by just lowering the CPU speed and hoping no-one would notice

                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                nothing to lose

	 Two updates to last week's news: Lyndsay "Risk Digest" Marshall
	 wrote to point out a strong competitor for lamest Net story prize
	 to The Observer's white paper on virtual drugs in the News Of The
	 World. Extra points for a gratuitous Johnny Mnemonic mention, as
	 well as a full picture of his cybernetically-enhanced sidekick,
	 Professor Kevinny Warwic. And JO CHIPCHASE wrote in - for once,
	 not to ask for unpaid help on an article she's writing - but to
	 complain about the the poor taste of our Paddington coverage last
	 week. It's a fair cop (although in our defence, you should have
	 seen what we were *going* to write). Still, judging from the
	 non-reaction to our Springfield massacre funnies, time heals all
	 wounds. While we're waiting, we'll do the standard media trick of
	 pointing to other people's sick humour and tutting disapproval
	 while you forward it to your mates.
                  - rife with drug addicts and other sick individuals
                                        - ban this evil Internet now!

                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

	 "more than 3000" Euro Dreamcast online registrations reported, 12
	 hours after going on sale - just 5,999,997,000 to go! ... "Password
	 Thief Ransacks AOL": purest antinews ... MICROSOFT writes report
	 using MICROSOFT WORD, crow Mac fans ... ZIFF DAVIS claims new
	 Pacman commercials feature "Verne Troyer, who played Mini-Me in
	 the latest Austin Powers flick and TV star Mr. T in the '80": don't
	 take steroids, kids ...  disgruntled ex-Website of the week: ...  Symphony #1 for Dot Matrix Printers
	 [see NTK 1999-10-01] wins "Best Canadian work in the New Media
	 category" ... servers behaving badly: .., Macintosh
	 app developers at MICROSOFT use Macs, crow Mac fans ...  trains
	 not quite running to Internet time: ... GUARDIAN recommends
	 sites with a "Secure Locket Layer (SLL)" - especially if you have
	 a cold ... DVD buyers search for "one, chosen model" that can play
	 THE MATRIX... LLOYDS TSB take unorthodox view of a good password
	 policies: ... "BUS PLUNGE",
	 screams the London Evening Standard: chalk one up for ...

                                >> TRACKING <<
                  making good use of the things that we find

	 So, you're an AMAZON ASSOCIATE too? What did you spend your profits
	 on? Beach-side condo? Original Leonardo sketches? A packet of
	 Monster Munch? Given that these online book stores can't even make
	 a buck on the other 85%, might it be a better idea to put your
	 pennies to work on something more worthwhile? Just like Amazon,
	 GIVEQUICK is a non-profit startup which redirects your affiliate
	 revenues to the charity of your choice. Admittedly, the choice at
	 the moment is very US-of-A-o-centric, but the kindly Webmasters
	 promise to introduce more "foreign" groups soon, and if you're a
	 British charity, I'm sure they'd oblige if you gave them a ping.
	 Note: BOL is not a charity. Despite appearances.
                          - oh, please, it's the only cash we make...

                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                              hasta la altavista

	 cable porn: ... you bet it
	 is: ... does the Vatican know about ? ...  GARTH ENNIS
	 not in Paddington crash, contrary to Net rumours ... that's not a
	 coping strategy, that's a life skill: ... it's official:
	 MICROSOFT WORKS now actively killing PENGUINS,3604,91267,00.html IVAN
	 POPE now breeding hideous genetically-mutated super-warriors: ... DIY APPLE stories: ...  DIY "have fun!
	 make money! sack everyone!" triumphs:  ...

                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                    It is registered at the Post Office as
                 "leaving every other word from our sentences"
                                 NEED TO KNOW
                         Archive -
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                          (K) 1999 Special Projects.
             Copying is fine, but include URL:

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