Fun_People Archive
28 Oct
The Comedian's-eye View of 10/28/99

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 99 04:01:08 -0700
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 10/28/99

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 10/28/99 -- ShopTalk

                          Thursday October 28, 1999

	"It was reported today that Mick Jagger has moved back in with Jerry
	 Hall just so he can be near his children. Then someone pointed out
	 that Mick can live anywhere and be near his children."

                           - Conan O'Brien


A judge in Pittsburgh is charged with using heroin and cocaine while on the
job. Police say evidence includes traces of a white substance found on the
scales of justice in her chambers. (Patrick M Rhody)

Saying the Republican party has left him, Pat Buchanan allied himself this
week with the Reform Party in his bid for the presidency. He says his first
task is choosing a running mate, given that his first choice, Hermann
Goring, is dead. (Rhody)

He did it! Pat Buchanan left the Republican and joined the Reform party.
And it didn't take his new opponent, Donald Trump, long to start
campaigning, calling Pat "a Hitler lover." Buchanan immediately fired back
calling Trump "a mall rat." (and) This is going to be great! Those 30,000
comedy writers who were out of work after Dan Quayle pulled out, can go
right back on the job.  (Bill Williams)

Harrison Ford survived a real-life flight cliffhanger when his helicopter
went down during a training run this weekend. It is the most precipitous
Hollywood crash in recent memory, not counting Kevin Costner's career. (Jim

A high-tech top designed by a retired Japanese college professor spun for
1 hour, 37 minutes and 42 seconds....That's a new world's record ---- unless
you count the spin Ken Starr put on Monicagate. (Williams)

England has scaled back the power of the House of Lords. The average
commoner knows what governance based merely on wealth and birth right can
do. It can make you governor of Texas. (Ray)

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