Fun_People Archive
28 Oct
The Comedian's-eye View of 10/29/99

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 99 19:41:27 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 10/29/99

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 10/29/99 -- ShopTalk

                        Friday October 29, 1999

	"When you have a personality like Bobby Knight, you have so few
	 friends the last thing you want to do is shoot one of them."

						- Jay Leno

Major toy makers have set up a safety hotline.  Information will be given
out on the dangers of the Atlanta Braves doll. A choking hazard. (Alan Ray)

Newt Gingrich has been hired by Fox News to be a commentator. He'll discuss
the turmoil and divisiveness of the house. His own. (Ray)

A new survey shows that with the death rate dropping dramatically in
Britain, undertakers have nothing to work on. Two words: Keith Richards.
(Jim Rosenberg)

Keith Richards says he still uses heroin, although not as much as in the
70's.... Is Keith tough? Let's put it this way: If heroin was the Titanic,
Keith would be the iceberg. (Bill Williams)

"A study reveals that not getting enough sleep can age you.  So that's
what's happening to Keith Richards.  It isn't the drugs, cigarettes, whiskey
and women.  He isn't getting enough naps." (Alex Kaseberg)

The Commerce Department says my personal income has grown 1.3%, or $92.6
billion for all of us.... So you know what that means? Thirty million people
together make as much as Bill Gates does by himself.  (Williams)

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