Fun_People Archive
8 Dec
The Comedian's-eye View of 12/09/99

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  8 Dec 99 16:44:43 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 12/09/99

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 12/09/99 -- ShopTalk

                       Thursday December 9, 1999


	"I was gay last year, I'm gay this year, I'll be gay next year, and
	 I just can't be bothered to go on about it all the time."

			- Actor Rupert Everett, about interviewers
			  obsessing over his sexual orientation

Coca-Cola's chairman and chief executive M. Douglas Ivester plans to step
down in April. A Board of Directors spokesperson indicated, "He shook things
up, which resulted in an initial burst, but eventually fizzled and became
flat." (Jim Rosenberg)

Northwest Airlines said Monday it fired a pilot who delayed a flight for
over an hour because he didn't like the meal he was served on the plane and
took a cab to get food. "Ladies and Gentleman, the Captain has illuminated
the 'I'm Hungry' sign -- feel free to move about the cabin while I get me
some grub." (Rosenberg)

The American Medical Association is meeting this week in San Diego. Doctors
can't get over the overpriced meals, inflated room rates, and charges on
all services.  It's just like they never left work. (Alan Ray)

"I guess you probably know by now they haven't heard anything from that Mars
Polar Lander.  Nothing at all!  That's when you know it's serious.  When
you don't hear anything.  Married guys know what I'm talking about.  The
deafening silence.  'Honey, is everything OK?  Honey!'" (Jay Leno)

"According to a new study, America now has an increase in homeless people.
So apparently the cast of 'Diff'rent Strokes' is bigger than I thought."
(Rudolph J. Cecera)

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