Fun_People Archive
16 Dec
The Comedian's-eye View of 12/17/99

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 99 18:58:08 -0800
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 12/17/99

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 12/17/99 -- ShopTalk

                       Friday December 17, 1999


              "I guess I just bought myself a lawsuit."

           Kenny Rogers to a Dallas audience in October,
           after tossing a Frisbee that struck a chandelier
           and rained glass on Kevin O'Toole, who indeed
           is suing the singer for $2 million

"George W. Bush and Sen. John McCain engaged in their first intense exchange
in the Republican presidential candidates debate Monday night.  To give you
an idea of how intense it was, at one point several of the audience members
actually woke up." (Alex Kaseberg)

"As the baby boomer generation grows older and life expectancy increases,
there are going to be more Americans with mental disorders.  Which should
help Pat Buchanan finally get elected president." (Gary Greenfield)

In Plant City, Florida a small plane coming in for a landing became wedged
on top of another one 200 feet in the air, and the interlocked pair landed
together without injury to any of the three people on board.  The two planes
smoked a cigarette together, exchanged phone numbers, and promised to call
each other.  (Rosenberg)

In Rotterdam, Netherlands a couple locked lips for 34 hours, 11 minutes and
37 seconds in a weekend attempt to make the Guinness Book of Records. The
record is still held by CNN's Larry King, who has been kissing behind for
over ten years. (Jim Rosenberg)

NASA is sending the Mars Global Surveyor to look for the missing Mars Polar
Lander. Excuse me, but at this point wouldn't that be like sending the
Unemployed Kato Kaelin to look for the Forgotten Gilligan Islanders? (Bill

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