Fun_People Archive
12 Jan
The Comedian's-eye View of 01/13/99

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 100 17:14:28 -0800
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 01/13/99
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X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 01/13/99 - ShopTalk

                      Thursday January 13, 2000

"'Information highway' is an unfortunate metaphor for the emerging
 telecommunications system. Like the Holy Roman Empire, which was neither
 holy nor Roman nor an empire, it will not be a highway, nor will it be
 dedicated to information."

         --Leo Bogart, media scholar and author, 1994
           In the wake of Monday's AOL-Time Warner deal...


The Supreme Court, today, heard arguments on whether a grandparent should be
allowed to visit their grandchildren even if the parents object. Asked how
he would decide the controversial issue, today, Woody Allen said he was for
it and against it-- and then his head exploded. (Steve Voldseth)

The Ford Motor Company is unveiling an electric car with a body entirely
made of plastic. I believe they're calling it the Cher. (Voldseth)

A federal judge has ordered Papa John's pizza to stop using the word
"better" to describe its pizza. Let's set some priorities here. How about
first let's order McDonald's to stop using the word "chicken" to describe
its Chicken McNuggets? (Jim Rosenberg)

The California legislation is considering a gun control law that would
require prospective handgun owners take a written and practical test. And
Charlton Heston has suggested they adapt the NRA tests. The written test is:
"What is the number of the Second Amendment?" Operating the ball-point pen
is the practical test. (Bill Williams)

Hillary Clinton will officially launch her senatorial campaign in February.
She'll make the announcement at a place symbolic of her time in New York
state.   A visitor's center. (Alan Ray)

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