Second Grader Offers IPO - Makes $30 Million In First Day Of Trading
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 24 Jan 100 20:22:26 -0800
Subject: Second Grader Offers IPO - Makes $30 Million In First Day Of Trading
X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649 -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Forwarded-by: Jack Doyle <firstname.lastname@example.org>
From: email@example.com (Timmy The Paper Boy)
Silicon Valley, CA -
Second grader Timmy Watson announced an initial public offering for
his web page titled "I Love My Kitty" on the NASDAQ stock exchange
I Love My Kitty LLC (KTTY) made over thirty-million in the first day
of trading. The stock rocketed from an initial two dollars a share to a
whopping four-hundred-and-sixty dollars a share in the first two hours of
I Love My Kitty LLC is based on Timmy's web page of the same name which
explains to everyone how much he loves his kitty Mittens. Investors are
hoping to build, "A radical new E-commerce site based on "I Love My Kitty".
According to Saul Schlepstein, an expert in e-business, "ILMK could very
well be the next Amazon.com! I mean this page has everything! Cute kids!
Cats! We think it will soon be one of the strongest e-commerce sites on
the net! It's amazing! I think I just wet my pants!"
Not everyone is excited about the new company though. Timmy's older
sister Tanya is reported to be creating her own site entitled "I Love My
Barbie!" Many investors are holding off on buying ILMK stock in case ILMB
turns out to be better positioned in the market than ILMK. Daniel Codpiece
of the investment firm of Morton Morton And Ted noted that, "Tanya is in
the FOURTH grade. Making us suspect that she will come out with a much
more marketable product."
In response to investors fears that ILMK will be eclipsed by his sister's
page, Timmy announced that, "Tanya is a big poopy head!" He also informed
the press that she seems to have a particularly virulent strain of
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