Fun_People Archive
30 Jan
The Comedian's-eye View of 1/31/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 30 Jan 100 22:28:13 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 1/31/00

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 01/31/00 -- ShopTalk

                         Monday January 31, 2000

  "I'm for the Rams, because I once had a boyfriend who played for the Rams
   - Glenn Davis - but then he had to leave for the war. This delighted my
   mother because he was in Korea and I was in L.A.  - the idea of a perfect
   romance for her daughter!  So I hope the Rams win up and down!"
			-- Elizabeth Taylor, on her Super Bowl preference


An exhaustive review of the 116 football players on the St.  Louis Rams
and Tennessee Titans, conducted by, reveals that one in 9 taking
the Super Bowl XXXIV field this Sunday has a criminal record - from serious
crimes such as negligent homicide to petty violations such as failure to
pay a speeding fine.

Research by, the only online news organization dedicated to
crime and safety issues, found 13 players -- seven Rams and six Titans --
have faced charges.  Perhaps surprisingly, studies show that lifetime arrest
rates for U.S. adult males under 30 range from 34 percent to 46 percent -
much higher than the 11 percent found on Super Bowl rosters. developed a package of stories that are now at
<> to provide background, statistics and commentary
on the issue of Super Bowl players' crime histories, including:
* Rap sheets for the 13 players on the Rams and Titans
* How the criminal history rates for the two teams compare with the general
* Responses from industry authorities, including sports author and
commentator Frank Deford and Dr. Harry Edwards, a sociologist and frequent
advisor to many NFL teams
* How does the NFL deal with players with criminal records?  This issue
and others are examined in commentary by Jeff Benedict, co-author of the
1998 book "Pros and Cons: The Criminals Who Play in the NFL."

[No comparison with the US Congress, eh?  Too bad...  -psl]

In Iowa, Orin Hatch got 1% of the Republican vote. So, besides his family
voting for him, he pretty much got the John Rocker vote. (Bill Williams)

"Sen. Orrin Hatch announced that he is going to drop out of the presidential
race this week. But first Hatch had to tell everyone he was in the
presidential race." (Conan O'Brien)

"George W. Bush was declared the big winner in the Iowa Republican
caucuses...  I haven't seen him this happy since he passed his last
urine test." (Jay Leno)

"A one-minute ad during the Super Bowl costs $4.4 million...  $4.4 million
and lasts only 60 seconds? Sounds like every pitcher in the Dodger's
bullpen." (Jerry Perisho)

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