Fun_People Archive
17 Feb
Bits o' BONG Bull No. 553!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 100 14:01:32 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Bits o' BONG Bull No. 553!

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
From: Charles Stough <>
Excerpted-from: BONG Bull No. 553!

                             BONG Bull
        Copyright (c) 1999 by BONG.   All rights reserved

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For Feb. 16, 2000. Way to punch, dance and dodge, Mr. Bush, Mass Debater
(you sure you're from Texas?), cheers the Burned-Out Newspapercreatures
Guild, and this is BONG Bull No. 553!

IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the
lazy dog" uses every letter in the English alphabet. So does "Quick
wafting zephyrs vex bold Jim."

[Yes, but... it uses some letters more than once.
 My favorite (made up by uses each letter once and only once:
	>> Vext flying cwm "Z" jabs Kurd Qoph! <<
Vext - aka "vexed"
flying - from "to fly"
cwm - (=cirque) steep-walled basin on a mountain shaped like half a bowl
"Z" - 26th letter of the English alphabet
jabs - from "to jab"
Kurd - a member of a pastoral and agricultural people from parts of Turkey,
    Iran, Iraq, and the Soviet Caucasus
Qoph - 19th letter of the Hebrew alphabet

TROUBLE GETTING TO THE STREET. The press in East Timor, a country recently
in the news when petulant Indonesia trashed it for wanting independence,
has been getting help from Australian journalists and the Reuters Foundation
of London to get rolling again. They can use old laptops that still work,
modems, sponsorships for Timorese reporters and other beneficence. To help
the East Timor Free Press Project see,
or contact Bob Howarth, Queensland Newspapers, 41 Campbell St., Bowen Hills,
Brisbane, AUSTRALIA Q 4006; e-mail

for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for me." - The late U.S. Sen. Sonny
Bono, R-Calif., arguing to make English the official language of the
United States.
[I've heard that particular insight attributed to many different people;
perhaps it has found a permanent home with Sonny...  -psl]

MOVIE TIMES. Every year the Oscar nominations remind the Posterity and
Indelible Stains Committee how many movie scripts are written by news
people about the business, but get changed in Hollywood's production
process. Here are some recent releases and their original pitches:
   The Sixth Sense: Sports writer always stashes his bottle just before
the boss comes out of his office.
   The World Is Not Enough: Adventures in wage negotiations.
   The Bone Collector: Obit writer has a hobby.
   Snow Day: Copy desk allows the phrase "white stuff" only once per
   Supernova: New intern is illiterate, insubordinate and underdressed,
but she looks like Sophia Loren.
   Three Kings: Reporter loses staff car to four aces.
   The Straight Story: Animated fantasy about a project team that
delivers the news in one take.
   The Tigger Movie: Adventures in proofreading.
   The End of the Affair: Reporter gets tabloid's assignment to go
undercover in sex industry, but girlfriend intercepts his mail.
   The Green Mile: From happy hour to newsroom.
   Being John Malkovich: Hipper-than-thou movie critic finally snaps
back to reality.
   Boys Don't Cry: Newsroom at payday.

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