Fun_People Archive
18 Feb
The Comedian's-eye View of 02/18/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 100 11:35:43 -0800
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 02/18/00

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 02/18/00 -- ShopTalk

                       Friday February 18, 2000

	"Karl Malone made out nicely on Sunday. He was fined $10,000 by
	 the NBA for showing up late to All-Star Weekend.  But, as a member
	 of the West team, he received $15,000 for winning the game.  Final
	 tally: a weekend in the Bay Area, 3 minutes, zero points, $5,000.
	 When's the next one?"
					- Torben Rolfsen, of Pacifica


An international toy fair has been held this week in New York City. Popular
is the new kind of football that you toss around. The Elian Gonzalez doll.
(Alan Ray) reports that Sen. John McCain's great-great-grandfather owned 52
slaves. The discovery was made by Bush supporter Strom Thurmond, who went
to school with the man. (Jim Rosenberg/

C.I.A. officials gave Congress a warning Wednesday. They claim Russia has
more spies watching the U.S. than the U.S. has spies watching Russia.  Of
course, Russia now has an evening newscast where the anchors STRIP [True!]
? so this COULD change! (Richard Burkard/

"Governor Bush" tried to quiet some rumors Wednesday about his campaign
running out of cash.  He said he "has a plan in place" to stay in the
Republican Presidential race.  We can see the e-mail message now:  "Dear
Dad: Send Money!" (Burkard)

Rex Reed was arrested for stealing a Peggy Lee CD from a NYC Tower record
store. His story is, he absent-mindedly slipped it in his pocket then forgot
when he left the store. The police gave him two handcuffs down, saying the
story was weak, the plot thin, the acting definitely third-rate -- and who
the hell is Peggy Lee! (Bill Williams)

In the space of a weekend, the Reform Party lost its chairman, its biggest
name Jesse Ventura and presidential hopeful Don "The Tower" Trump. Which
leaves Pat Buchanan getting the party nomination without even having to
lift a Panzer Division. (Williams)

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