The Comedian's-eye View of 03/10/00
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 9 Mar 100 16:09:01 -0800
Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 03/10/00
X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649 -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 03/10/00 -- ShopTalk
Friday March 10, 2000
"Since I turned 40, the roles I've been given
are the best of my career, Maybe Hollywood
has finally figured out what to do with me."
- Sigourney Weaver, 50, and bucking the conventional
In New York, California and 14 other states, Tuesday was Big Tuesday. In
New Orleans, it was Fat Tuesday. Unfortunately for Bill Bradley, it was
Big Fat Nothing Tuesday." (Alex Kaseberg)
"[Mardi Gras points up] the difference between New Orleans and New York
City. Here in New York City, we don't need excuses to get drunk and urinate
in the street. (David Letterman)
"They say Bradley [did] great with Democrats who make over $100,000 a year.
You know what they call Democrats who make over $100,000 a year?
Republicans, that's the problem.) (Leno)
Californians rejected gay marriage Tuesday, approving a ballot measure that
prohibits the state from recognizing same-sex marriages. Instead, citizens
in the land of Hollywood sent a clear message that they intend to defend
the sanctity of one man and one woman who make a commitment to live under
God as a family, until a leggy ingenue or buff dancer do them part.
If Bill Bradley endorses Albert Gore, the Vice President could gain support
from many basketball legends. Just think: Michael Jordan has done all
those ads with cartoon characters. Now he can stand next to Mr. Gore, and
JORDAN will be the more animated one! (Richard Burkard/www.LaughLine.com)
Meanwhile, Governor Bush declared Wednesday he is NOT a "Pat Robertson
Republican." What could Mr. Bush mean by this....
+ He's never prayed for hurricanes to miss Virginia?
+ He's never asked God to kill Supreme Court justices??
+ He's never hosted a TV talk show where he begged for money???
Or interviewed Bob Dylan????
© 2000 Peter Langston