Fun_People Archive
30 Mar
The Comedian's-eye View of 03/31/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 30 Mar 100 15:24:23 -0800
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 03/31/00

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 03/31/00 -- ShopTalk

                        Friday March 31, 2000

  "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
   and only enough blood to run one at a time.

	- Robin Williams [Hardly original with him;
		you might as well credit me!  -psl]


The Academy Awards show ran four hours long [and] has the nerve to hand
out awards for editing...It's too bad the show wasn't as tight as Faye
Dunaway's face." (David Letterman)

"'The Matrix' took home best sound, best sound effects, best visual effects
and best film editing, giving it a sweeps of all categories that don't
include the word 'acting'" (Craig Kilborn)

"The price of illegal drugs is at a all-time low in this country. Crack
and heroin are the cheapest they've ever been, which is frustrating if
you're a junkie...The drugs are cheap, but gas is so expensive, you can't
drive downtown to get em." (Jay Leno)

"The journal Lancet reported medical research saying passionate sex can
help cure the symptoms of chronic asthma.  Well, what do you know? Looking
back, we might have had the wrong Clinton in charge of health care." (Argus

Scientists now suggest that finger length may be linked to sexual
orientation. Doctors examined the middle finger of a group of homosexuals.
They were standing outside the building of Dr. Laura. (Alan Ray)

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