Fun_People Archive
4 Apr
The Comedian's-eye View of 04/05/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  4 Apr 100 18:02:31 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 04/05/00

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 04/05/00 -- ShopTalk

                       Wednesday April 5, 2000

	"The music business just makes me sick. It's just a joke. Can
	 you sit and enjoy any kind of music or awards shows? Where are
	 the adults? Where is the class? This is whiners and screamers and
	 screechers and they're all full of themselves over nothing, you
	 know, just like the scum that populates this business. I'm ashamed
	 to be a part of it. I hate it with a passion."
							- Joni Mitchell

"They caught a guy running across the White House lawn. Luckily, authorities
said he never had a real chance of making it to the White House.  And they
described him as Alan Keyes." (Bill Maher)

A federal judge has declared that Microsoft is a monopoly. Bill Gates
continues to deny such a charge.  As a result of the ruling, the company
may now be forced to sell Seattle. (Alan Ray)

"Political pundits are saying that if Hillary Clinton is elected as Senator,
she will run for President...That's all we need.  Bill Clinton back in the
White House with even more free time." (David Letterman)

President Clinton has given a rare full-hour interview - not to Tom Brokaw
or Dan Rather, but Leonardo DiCaprio!  And we're told ABC News gave its
approval for this!  Where did this idea come from -- the Tyra Banks school
of journalism? (Richard Burkard/

Given that interview, a story in TV Guide doesn't seem that hard to believe.
Andrea Thompson of "NYPD Blue" reportedly plans to leave the show - to try
out as a TV news anchor in New Mexico!  Hopefully someone will tell her
the newsroom phrase "raw tape" is QUITE different from what "Blue" shows!

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