Fun_People Archive
6 May
Bits O' BONG Bull No. 560!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat,  6 May 100 17:56:48 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Bits O' BONG Bull No. 560!

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: BONG Bull No. 560!

                             BONG Bull
        Copyright (c) 2000 by BONG.   All rights reserved

TO SUBSCRIBE: Send a blank e-mail to

SURVIVAL SKILLS. Not for nothing did the latest Internet vandal find such
a rich reception in the world's drives with the infamous "I love you" virus.
Let the record show that the burnouts of the newsroom were not taken in.
The few who read e-mail do their best deleting at the message-header level,
and where BONGers are concerned, a message that starts with "I love you"
is clearly a hoax. However, here are some virus names that will work with
in our market by playing on the experienced reporter's self-interested
curiosity. Members are cautioned:
   Zip your zipper
   Your proctologist called
   Eyeglasses found
   Speech invitation cancelled
   Expense report overdue
   Any obscene word or phrase of more than five letters
   Open bar

ROSEBUD, ROSEBUD. The Iraqi journalists union has voted Saddam Hussein's
son Uday, known to world human rights organizations as a sadistic
murderer with limited reading and writing skills, journalist of the
century. He owns radio and TV stations, weekly newspapers and a daily
named Babel.

FOUND. What a neat Net site: . It's a
daily word troll, bringing adventures in vocabulary building. Recent offers:
   Dot snot (n.): A young person with an arrogant and self-important manner
because he or she has become rich by creating a dot-com company.  See also
millionerd, optionaire, sneaker millionaire.
   Mission creep (n.): The process by which a mission's methods and goals
change gradually over time. See also creeping featurism, mission from God,
   Genre kill (n.): The process of destroying a cultural category by
inundating the category with copycat products (Ed. Note: As with, say,
megagreed quiz shows). See also innovicide, Gulliver effect.
   Back-channel media (n.): Media, such as tabloid-style newspapers and
television shows, preferred by populist politicians over traditional
political forums such as op-ed pages and political talk shows. See also
paparazzification, schmooseoisie.
   Bambi (n.): TV lingo for a person who freezes in front of a camera (like
the proverbial deer caught in headlights).
   Beat sweetener (n.): A flattering, non-critical profile of a public
figure written by a reporter whose regular beat includes coverage of that
person. See also bummer beat, inhuman-interest story, muffin-choker,
notebook dump, thumbsucker.

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