The Comedian's-eye View of 07/03/00
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 100 16:16:45 -0700
Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 07/03/00
X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649 -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 07/03/00 -- ShopTalk
Monday July 3, 2000
"Miller beat out a field of more than 20 contestants, including
conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh, who campaigned
relentlessly to get the job, but was reportedly passed on in the
11th hour for inappropriate comments made in hours 1 through 10."
- Jon Stewart, on Dennis Miller being added to MNF
Hamburgers, steak and chicken are the three most grilled foods in America
- according to a survey by the makers of Weber Grills. The #4 most grilled
item, as of late: Energy Secretary Bill Richardson. (Jim Rosenberg/
There are reports that Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are having
trouble agreeing to terms of a pre-nuptial agreement. Negotiating tip for
Ms. Zeta-Jones: introduce the concept of a pre-coital agreement.
One of the original copies of the Declaration of Independence has been in
an internet auction for $8.14 million. It is the most expensive item ever
sold over the Internet that doesn't contain Britney Spears' sweat stains.
The Declaration of Independence was bought by "All in the Family" creator
Norman Lear, who plans to send it on a national tour. If it's a hit, Lear
will create a spin-off about its writer called "The Thomas Jeffersons."
Of course, for many, the real Declaration of Independence was when Regis
realized he had a hit show without Kathie Lee.(Nicolucci)
The copy was produced by John Dunlap, a Philadelphia printer, the night of
July 4, 1776, a crucial point in our history. It was shortly before America
transformed itself from a colony of England into a colony of Microsoft.
We begin with the latest update on the big story of the hour: as we post
to the Web, Elian Gonzalez is STILL in Cuba! There's no sign yet of a
rescue mission from Miami -- what critics would call NOT the Bay of Pigs
? but the Bay of RENO! (Richard Burkard/
Comedian Dennis Miller joins the crew of Monday Night Football. Some
question his ability to really understand the pro football game. After
all, he's never spent one day in jail. (Alan Ray)
© 2000 Peter Langston