YAEASS - Yet Another Example of Awfully Suspicious Statistics...
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat, 26 Aug 100 01:38:00 -0700
Subject: YAEASS - Yet Another Example of Awfully Suspicious Statistics...
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From: "Matthew Kleinosky" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right
in front of a pick-up truck causing him to have to drive on to the
shoulder. This evidently angered the driver off enough, that he hung out
his window and flipped the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought
to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever
a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:
I drive 38 miles each way to work every day. That's 76 miles. Of these,
16 miles each way, is bumper-to-bumper traffic. Most of the
bumper-to-bumper traffic is on an 8 lane highway, so if you look just at
the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like one car every
40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works
out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31424 cars. Even though the rest of
the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper traffic, I figure I pass at least
another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars
I pass every day. Statistically half of these cars are driven by females.
That's 18,000. In any given group of females, 1 in 28 are having the worst
day of their period. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% of women
describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. 70% of 642 is
449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females
have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe
men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle
Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has
a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and
is armed. So... No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of
flipping her off!
© 2000 Peter Langston