The Gong Show was apparently more interesting than we thought.
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 14 Sep 100 12:50:27 -0700
Subject: The Gong Show was apparently more interesting than we thought.
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A tasty tidbit from Chuck Barris' bio:
I ignored what Buddy said. I did worse than that. I put the Popsicle
Twins on "The Gong Show."
The Popsicle Twins weren't really twins. They were just girl friends.
One was fifteen years old, the other seventeen. Both were adorable.
The fifteen-year-old wore her hair in a ponytail, and had a face full
of freckles. The older girl had bangs, dimples, and enormous blue
eyes. Both had fresh, full, succulent bodies. Both had glowing
peaches-and-cream complexions. Both wore T-shirts and short shorts.
Both were a lecherous old man's delight; post-pubescent Lolitas who
would have more than satisfied all the Humbert Humberts of the world.
They called themselves the Popsicle Twins because they each held an
The girls skipped onto the stage barefoot, sat down on the floor side
by side, crossed their legs Indian-style, and begin to lick their
Popsicles. That's all they did. They just licked their Popsicles.
But the *way* they licked their Popsicles was something else. It was
extraordinary, is what it was. The girls tongued the sides of the
Popsicles, ran their full lips across the Popsicles and around them.
They slid the Popsicles into their mouths slowly, sensually, in and
out, in and out, and then ran their lips softly down the shaft of the
cone-shaped Popsicles to their bases, and then back up again.
There were obviously giving the Popsicles a blow job. The two teenagers
were teaching the nation the proper way to perform exquisite head.
Every eye in that theater was glued to the Popsicles Twins' mouths and
their Popsicles. Anyone who couldn't see the girls in person watched
TV monitors hypnotically. Every stagehand had a hard-on. The celebrity
judges were in a state of acute shock. Not one of them was capable of
looking away, let alone leaving their seats to gong the act. "The Gong
Show" band gave the Popsicle Twins a standing ovation. Jaye P. Morgan
said, "That's the way I started. I give the girls a ten!"
When the show aired, the telephone switchboard at the National
Broadcasting Company in New York lit up like a Christmas tree. The
East Coast was appalled. The wife of a United States senator had her
husband paged on the Senate floor and demanded he make an immediate
motion to ban "The Gong Show" from television. Two New York City police
demolition instructors had to interrupt their lesson on defusing
explosives because the eyes of the class were glued to the silent
television set suspended from the ceiling behind them. At first the
police demolition instructors were angry. Then they noticed what the
other cops were watching, and what the Popsicle Twins were doing, and
called a five-minute break.
Executives at NBC snapped into action. They immediately terminated
the "Gong Show" feed to the rest of the country. The Popsicle Twins
were never seen in the Central or Pacific time zones. ...
-- Chuck Barris, "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"
© 2000 Peter Langston