Fun_People Archive
21 Sep
Words of Wisdom

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 100 23:31:38 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Words of Wisdom

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Forwarded-by: ErikThor@aol.com
Forwarded-by: manystrings@earthlink.net (Carrie Kourkoumelis)

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
   -Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs.  I think of them as stray eyebrows.
   -Janette Barber

Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"?  Every time I hear it, I think
I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
   -Jan King

A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden
retriever.  When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out.
The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling,
"Hey, come back here with my breast!"
   -Linda Ellerbee

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
   -Lily Tomlin

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman?
It's plucking your eyebrows.  That's how I originally got pierced ears.
   -Geri Jewell

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
   -Carrie Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you.  Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
   -Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing.  My first being hitting my
head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
   -Erma Brombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
   -Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do.  A woman must do what he can't.
   -Rhonda Hansome

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
   -Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
   -Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
as good.  Luckily, this is not difficult.
   -Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
   -Caryn Leschen

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
before they realized I actually had a hearing loss... and they called ME
slow!
   -Kathy Buckley

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
once.
   -Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
warning.
   -Catherine Aird

© 2000 Peter Langston