Words of Wisdom
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 100 23:31:38 -0700
Subject: Words of Wisdom
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think
I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden
retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out.
The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling,
"Hey, come back here with my breast!"
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman?
It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my
head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
before they realized I actually had a hearing loss... and they called ME
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
© 2000 Peter Langston