Fun_People Archive
4 Oct
The Comedian's-eye View of 10/05/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  4 Oct 100 17:31:14 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 10/05/00

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Excerpted-from: 10/05/00 -- ShopTalk

                        Thursday October 5, 2000

       "In the last week of the `Survivor' series, the network wanted to
	do a `Gilligan's Island' reunion theme show to play up the deserted
	island angle. So I finally had to watch one of the `Survivor'
	episodes.  I thought it was unbelievably stupid. . . . So I called
	up the producers and told them, `There is no way I am getting up
	at 5 in the morning to get my hair done and then do a live morning
	talk show at 6 about this stupid show, and they were shocked."

          -- Tina Louise, former 'Gilligan's Island' castaway


The Federal Communications Commission Chair chided Fox and NBC for not
televising Tuesday's debate.  He claimed those networks put money and
profits ahead of the public interest.  What a surprise ? we thought those
networks supported Democrats, but they acted like Republicans! (NBC and
Fox probably sent the FCC Chair a two-word reply: CABLE CHANNELS!) (Burkard)

Following the Presidential candidates' debate Tuesday night, the North Poll
of 999 registered but undecided, independent oblivious voters, released
its findings: 33% of those polled who had been leaning towards Bush actually
fell over. 34% of those who had been leaning towards Gore felt he
outperformed Bush, by a margin of 3-1, yet their impression of Bush improved
overall by a margin of  1-3. 35% never realized the poll results added up
to 102%  -2% of those polled said they intended to vote for Vice Governor
Jim Lehrer. (Marc Wallace )

Albert Gore's aides say The Democrat spent the last three days resting in
Florida, to prepare for a "conversation with the American people."  He
needs three days of rest before TALKING to us?  We knew Mr. Gore was stiff,
but that's a long time to loosen up! (Richard Burkard/

The vice presidential candidates debate Thursday night. Republican candidate
Dick Cheney is prepared to defend his boss. The oil companies. (Alan Ray)

Polls show no clear winner in the first presidential debate. Gore aides
say the vice president accomplished his primary goal. To make those voters
on the fence stay awake. (Ray)

Three Rochester, New York Burger King workers are in trouble for allegedly
peeing on several Whoppers before serving them to customers.  The good
news, the burgers have been cleared to compete in the next Olympics.

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