Fun_People Archive
20 Nov
QsOTD - Texans, 11/7/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 100 22:04:16 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: QsOTD - Texans, 11/7/00

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[This may be where Dubya gets his fluency with English...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: Kevin Johnsrude <kevinj@roguewave.com>
Forwarded-by: Fred Towne
Forwarded-by: Alice GRUCZA

The following are quotes from Texas politicians:

* "It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket."
- Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to
go into the state treasury

*  "Lemme give ya' a hypothetic."
- Texas Rep. Renal Rosson

*  "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead
armadillos."
- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower

*  "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?"
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in
wheelchairs

* "Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person
who can create one."
- A. C. Greene

* "No thanks, once was enough."
- Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked if he had been born again

* "Oh good.  Now he'll be bi-ignorant."
- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor
Bill Clements had been studying Spanish

* "I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that
he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced.

* "Well, there never was a Bible in the room."
- Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked about repeatedly lying about the SMU
football scandal.

* "I am filled with humidity."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

* "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that
man's head."
- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George
Bush's policies

* "If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to
listen..."
- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower

* "I move we recess to go outside and throw up."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing

* "This is a real competitive business."
- A gas station owner, when asked to explain the rapid rise in gasoline
prices when Kuwait was invaded

* "...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women..."
- Law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote

* "It's the sediment of the House that we adjourn."
- Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton

* "Let's do this in one foul sweep."
- Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton

* "This is unparalyzed in the state's history."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

* "I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished
yourselves this session."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

*  "We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

* "There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind."
- Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

* "I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you."
- Anon.

* "There are still places where people think that the function of the media
is to provide information."
- Don Rottenberg

© 2000 Peter Langston