Fun_People Archive
1 Dec

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri,  1 Dec 100 10:20:30 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
Forwarded-by: Joe Weihe <>
Subject: POLICE SLAUGHTER HUNDREDS (but what choice did they have really?)

Dateline Seattle,  11/30/00
POLICE SLAUGHTER HUNDREDS (but what choice did they have really?)
-Les Ismore

Seattle Police officers once again demonstrated courage and restraint today
by waiting until a veteran Police Captain got a cut over his eye to open
fire on hundreds of ill-informed, scruffy vandals from out of town.

Hundreds of drug addicted communists descended on Seattle today to celebrate
the anniversary of the WTO 'Battle in Seattle', but the wild, rowdy antics
of the unruly crowd had to be cut short before they threatened to escalate
into a good time.  It was rumored that a window may have been broken, and
that if the protest had been allowed to continue, a Winchell's Donut Shop
could have been threatened. Police were forced to react.

Only a few hundred of the crazed rioters were killed after the Police, who
had been kindly and helpful up to that point, realized that body armor,
helmets. pleximasks, batons, pepper spray, automatic weapons, and personal
nuclear devices were no match for the Anarchists satirical signs and biting

New Seattle Police Chief Gil Kockamamie explained that there was only a
limited amount of overtime pay for the officers available, and that it was
important to bring the violent protest of the anarchist hooligans to a
quick end. "We tried to avoid intervention" Kockamamie explained, "but when
they surrounded that Winchells....."

One Seattle Officer said "When I saw that wild look in that teenage girls
eyes, I was terrified, and I don't mind admitting it." Seattle Mayor Paul
Shellgame and other city leaders praised the police's "remarkable restraint"
and "extreme patience in the face of tremendous danger".

prev [=] prev © 2000 Peter Langston []